Disclaimer: Due to various complaints regarding the subject and nature of this post, I felt the need to add a note. This post was meant to be humorous. No one was hurt (emotionally or physically) in the process of writing this post, or at any later point in time. Don't worry about the mental state of the person who wrote this post, even after realizing that certain genetic inferiorities are in fact valid, the truth is that this person has many more superior characteristics that foster a high level of self-esteem, probably higher than your own. Enjoy!
Today I realized just how genetically inferior I really am. It all started when a friend stopped by my room and curled her tongue. Next thing you know another person curled their tongue and then another person, until there was just me, except I can't curl my tongue because it's a genetic trait, which apparently my father (who can curl his tongue) didn't feel like passing down to me. He also didn't feel like passing down a lot of things. I have a whole list of them, entitled "things my father didn't pass down to me genetically (just to spite me)".
1) His aptitude for standardized tests (his SAT score was at least 200 points higher than mine- mine was still good-fyi) and languages (he studied Latin, German, and Hebrew. I studied Spanish for 6 years and the only thing I remember is Como estas? And don't get me started on my Hebrew.
2) The ability to calculate equations in his head- to this day there's still a little pencil in my head that writes down all the equations- and you know what, it's subject to error and extremely inconvenient.
3) His memory- he used to be "somewhat" photogenic and I used to have a "somewhat" normal memory
4) His hatred for sweets- this would have come handy especially during my overweight awkward years (9-14, 18-19).
5) His ability to snap his fingers. Yes, that's right, some people have a lot of trouble doing this.
6) His scrabble skills. I don't like to talk about this one very much because it makes me sad :(
Now this isn't completely fair because my father did give me a lot of his traits, like his ridiculously curly hair - which I kinda like ;), his weirdness (although thankfully not his morbid sense of humour), his tone deafness, his complete lack of artistic talent and his myopia. My mom contributed her hyperopia and lazy eye- like the myopia wasn't enough, and I'm not sure if this last one is actually accurate to say, but I kind of blame her for making me lactose intolerant, since she told me that all she craved during her pregnancy was dairy. So thanks mom for using up all my lactase while I was still in the womb!
But seriously with all of these genetic flaws it's pretty amazing I can function as a "somewhat" normal human being. Maybe if god had planned this person better I wouldn't be questioning his existence all the time. I bet he didn't think about that, but he should have since he's supposedly omniscient.
Today I realized just how genetically inferior I really am. It all started when a friend stopped by my room and curled her tongue. Next thing you know another person curled their tongue and then another person, until there was just me, except I can't curl my tongue because it's a genetic trait, which apparently my father (who can curl his tongue) didn't feel like passing down to me. He also didn't feel like passing down a lot of things. I have a whole list of them, entitled "things my father didn't pass down to me genetically (just to spite me)".
1) His aptitude for standardized tests (his SAT score was at least 200 points higher than mine- mine was still good-fyi) and languages (he studied Latin, German, and Hebrew. I studied Spanish for 6 years and the only thing I remember is Como estas? And don't get me started on my Hebrew.
2) The ability to calculate equations in his head- to this day there's still a little pencil in my head that writes down all the equations- and you know what, it's subject to error and extremely inconvenient.
3) His memory- he used to be "somewhat" photogenic and I used to have a "somewhat" normal memory
4) His hatred for sweets- this would have come handy especially during my overweight awkward years (9-14, 18-19).
5) His ability to snap his fingers. Yes, that's right, some people have a lot of trouble doing this.
6) His scrabble skills. I don't like to talk about this one very much because it makes me sad :(
Now this isn't completely fair because my father did give me a lot of his traits, like his ridiculously curly hair - which I kinda like ;), his weirdness (although thankfully not his morbid sense of humour), his tone deafness, his complete lack of artistic talent and his myopia. My mom contributed her hyperopia and lazy eye- like the myopia wasn't enough, and I'm not sure if this last one is actually accurate to say, but I kind of blame her for making me lactose intolerant, since she told me that all she craved during her pregnancy was dairy. So thanks mom for using up all my lactase while I was still in the womb!
But seriously with all of these genetic flaws it's pretty amazing I can function as a "somewhat" normal human being. Maybe if god had planned this person better I wouldn't be questioning his existence all the time. I bet he didn't think about that, but he should have since he's supposedly omniscient.
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